keep trying · who are we


There are some days that when you wake up as the best version of yourself. They are never, for me at least, on the days when this would be the most useful; they rarely follow nights where you felt as though you had a breakthrough moment in the middle of frantic journaling; or when you have to try and be your bravest self to give a presentation at work; or when you are facing some sort of crisis. They just seem to happen and they are always oddly elusive and fleetingly short.
Today might just be one of those days. After weeks of indecision over the finishing details of my kitchen, a comical attempt yesterday to get things done involved two drills and three screwdrivers and yet this resulted in nothing being put on a wall. This morning, however, I got the jobs all finished and tidied away between 8:40 and 8:55am. Yes. All done. Sure, it helps that yesterday I had put the drill on charge (I use it once a year, I have no idea why I thought it would just be ready and waiting) last night, found the raw plugs, the screws and the spirit level. These things all live in one small area of my hallway that is pretty accessible yet it feels like a race against time for buried treasure each time I try to unearth the correct tools and hardware for a job.
So here I am, or rather was, on a good day. But it has already dissipated. I got distracted and the momentum slipped away from me yet again. I wish that I could just revel in the gift of those moments where you feel like that better version of yourself is possible; that you will be able to work things out and finish the lists and live a slightly better life. I guess we have to keep trying.


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