It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman, in possession of over 30 years, must be in want of a husband (or wife). It is also a truth universally known, but generally unspoken, that a single woman over 30 must be in some way defective therefore rendering her single and a future spinster.
I guess it would be best to start with a few definitions…
“An unmarried woman; an old maid”
“Exalted; majestic; supreme; of the highest or noblest nature; awakening feelings of awe and veneration; overwhelmingly great”
You see our modern culture would seem to imply that these two words just don’t go together and I really wish that they did.
I can’t think of any unmarried single women, who are not dating, separated or living with a partner, who are over the age of 35 and are thought of as role models or aspirational. We still seem to live in a world where the single male, aka batchelor, can be understood and respected but where the female needs to be in a realtionship or aspiring to one. Seriously, take a moment – after thinking about this for a week now I can only think of Ann Widdecombe. Sure, there are plenty of ficitional heroines who start out single but their happy ending comes with a partner. We still believe we need a White Knight to make us whole.
I should probably also declare the obvious vested interest here. I am single. I am a female. I will soon be 34. I haven’t dated in a long time. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by a lot of friends but I am the only thirty-something single woman I know. And I can feel the pity glances and the desperation of my friends to find me a set up. They just don’t get that I am OK on my own. And that’s partly my own fault – because I’m struggling to find a place for myself in the world where it’s OK for me to be single for the rest of my life and not feel like a reject. Where I don’t have to feel a strange sort of guilt for not having snared me a plus one.
I’m not against relationships, or love. This isn’t about any militant feminism. This isn’t about bashing mainstream culture and media. I’m not even sure why I’m putting this out there but I guess I want something tangible to press me into furthering my quest. I am going to be my own White Knight – I’m not looking for a glass slipper that fits, I’m not searching for a plus one, I want to be genuinely comfortable without one. I want to find some sublime spinsters who I can aspire to and I’ll try and update you on my quest.